When a person is wandering sometimes they will not appear to be doing much. Americans are notorious for always doing something. Always shopping or working or watching movies, etc etc. While at Save a Warrior I learned that for good mental health and self-care a person needs to pause in life. They suggest pausing daily for meditation. They also suggest that when things are busy to ensure you stop and pause.

After the emotional high I had this week I definitely needed a pause. Time where I am doing nothing, but just being. So that is what today is. I have spent my day pausing. Enjoying. When I purposefully slow down enough things start to smell differently and look differently.

I went to a community dinner and helped clean up after people finished eating. It was a day of just slowing down enough and facing some social anxiety and meeting new people. It felt good to go and do something for others in the community. It was super random too, I just showed up, introduced myself and asked to help.

When wandering, expect to be a little boring. Not everyday is going to be waterfalls and conferences. I mean that stuff is exciting, but when you are wandering you are searching how to live a more peaceful and ordinary life. So there will be some boredom and moments of pause that seem extremely dull.

While wandering, when I pause, I can enjoy the stories of others. When I was in middle school I had a friend, S, who was home schooled. We moved after a couple of years and thanks to the wonders of Facebook she reconnected with me after high school. I adore her and through her have gotten to know her sister K. I have been enjoying the use of my K’s couch, where I have taken some time today to just pause. She is a wonderful mother and Hair Stylist. I really enjoyed her friendship before this, which has been budding over the past several months. Now that I am staying with her for a bit I am getting to know her better. I can see what a beautiful heart she has. She opened up her doors to me when I told her of my crazy plan to wander. She has been completely supportive and excited for me. I really appreciate how awesome she is. She is a single mom of two beautiful girls who are a reflection of what an amazing mom she is and the family she comes from.

I had the opportunity earlier in the week to watch the girls, M and E. M tells me… I’m going to marry a daddy someday. Because I want to be a mommy when I grow up, I want to play with my kids and cook food. Would you want to be a mommy someday? I said yes and she said, would you be a mommy who works or doesn’t work? I said I would probably work too. She said, that’s okay, I would do the same thing.

E is a couple of years older than M. I was doing dishes and E insisted that they help me rinse and dry the dishes. M wasn’t up for it, but E jumped right in splashing water all over the kitchen. She was so proud that she got to help wash the dishes. There was so much respect and joy in this little girl.

My experience watching the girls reminded me about how I want to have kids of my own one day. Seeing as I am choosing to not date at this time, I know that it won’t be happening soon. I truly hope that when I have kids one day I can raise them as well as K has raised her girls. It truly is a joy to be able to stay with my friend, and I can’t wait to move on and visit more friends.

I definitely have to say that the best part of wandering is being able to pause as much as I want or need. Today was a day where I could just be. I can’t wait to see what tomorrow has in store.

Signing off from Marion, IA