I didn’t go far from Omaha to dig deeper into it with more friends. I hopped over to Lincoln, NE and started with breakfast with an old buddy from Iraq. It’s not often that I catch up with someone from that first deployment. I honestly still don’t have vivid details of that tour, just the bad stuff, the stuff I wish would just go away. So mostly I don’t think of it. As I’ve been working on being a new me I do occasionally find something positive to say. Both JP and I have been back home long enough that we didn’t much talk about the tour. I would say we primarily argued over wherever being a Huskers fan is evil or not, which is our usual back and fourth.

I ran out afterwards to set up my campsite, honestly it couldn’t be prettier here. I encourage all wanderers to venture off the highway when going through Nebraska.Thee people are lovely and it is really pretty. I’m staying at the Pawnee State Park just northwest of Lincoln. The tent site is right on the lake. I just want to shout and giggle about the awesomeness.

My friend, Ricky, asked me to come play with his kids. They were so cute. He is such a good dad, and definitely gives single dad’s a good name. It was really an honor to be invited in to their home. His daughter and I even did each others nails. Ricky had this bicycle that is motorized. I got to ride it… Super weird! But awesome! The more important point is that I got to know Ricky as a person, not just a disaster volunteer. We’ve known each other for a year, but real dug deep and ended up on all sorts of topics.

Then I visited MS, who works crazy long hours. I was so glad he made time for me. The poor kid works himself to death. He knows it, but keeps going. We ended up taking for a long time about what he wants to do in life. I explained my journey to him, and bring the awesome young man he is offered a spot on his for if I ever need space.

It’s funny, both guys tried to insist I stay at their homes instead of alone at a camp ground. I appreciate their chivalry, but so many people don’t want me to camp alone, and that’s all I want. I want to be out here at 1030 at night, blogging on my phone to the chorus of cicadas, bull frogs, and fish jumping. There is no feeling like being with nature. There is also no feeling like not fearing where you are. I could live in fear of being a single white female alone on the road… A lot of my people are afraid enough for me… That would be fear that traps me in a single place. Maybe the world should fear me for once, instead of requiring me to fear them. I’m wandering to an unknown destination, finding adventure and trouble wherever I can… I’m unpredictable, I may not make sense… That can cause fear. I hope people don’t fear me though, I hope they start to understand. I hope I start to understand.

Signing off Pawnee State Park near Lincoln, NE