Dear Wanderer, much of this journey is set in having faith in the process of life, yourself, and the community you have built to support you. So what happens when you are jarred by a significantly impactful event, one which has many sides to a story, and which causes your faith to waiver? It becomes a he-said, she-said event, one which only you can make the determination of where YOU lie in this moment.
Knee-jerk reactions make you suppose that the whole journey was for naught. It makes your steps forward falter, and causes doubt to cross your mind. You think that you believed so hard in something and a set of people and now there are fourteen stories, so what do you believe? Should you even continue on a path that has now felt a significant disruption? How do we process this and continue to stay whole? And an even greater question, do we fight? And if we fight, which side do we take?
First I want you to remind yourself that knee-jerk reactions usually end up with someone being the jerk, often it is the person who reacts in this manner. This is a time to process, make no quick judgments, and drop down to meditate. Second, remember that nothing can disrupt your internal journey unless you allow it to. Does this current situation personally alter you? Is the path that you are on a good path for you? Does the implications of negativity which you yourself have not felt stop you from following the path?
In my instance for today, though my heart has been wrenched out of place within my body, and I search for clarity in confusion, the situation does not change my journey. It does not mean that the way I have been living my life is wrong, or that the things I have been taught in any way are altered. Differences of opinion, misdirection, and disruptions to communities will all come and go. It will change things, sometimes significantly. You have no power over these things, except that you do.
So these things have NO POWER OVER YOU… but YOU HAVE POWER OVER THEM. Let’s take a moment to discern how you can have power over a disruptive situation in your community which is not allowed to take control over you. It cannot disrupt you because you (and I) will continue doing what we are already doing to practice self-care. We will take a moment, or twenty, to meditate and ensure we are RIGHT WITH OURSELVES. We will choose to not lend to the fight or allow ourselves to be drug in to the fight. We will choose to lend comfort, support, and extraordinary peace to a chaotic situation. Often the best route is to not participate in the discussion, unless it is to uplift and support those who are looking for peace and clarity in continuing their path.
What else can we do? We were neither in the shoes of Party A or Party B. At some point more information will be shared, that is almost as sure of a thing as the fact I continue to breathe air. Once more information is provided then we can make informed decisions on which direction we may take. In the mean time we can merely care for ourselves and let the Party’s involved share their sides to the story.
The issue is that when incidents occur in life we all feel the need to have an opinion. Opinions are not necessarily based on fact, often they are based on knee-jerk reactions, supposition, or gossip. Do you have first hand knowledge of the situation? Were you standing there watching this complication unfurl? NO? Then I highly suggest whatever your opinions are, you keep them to yourself and do not lend to the muddy waters of disagreement. You are always allowed opinions, but ask yourself if sharing those opinions are in the best interest of others in the community.
Thus far I have written off the supposition that you were not a participant to Party A or B. So what if you are in one of those groups. You were on the ground zero of this issue and you know your facts. How do you handle yourself? With threats, finger pointing, and anger? Or with honest statements of fact, integrity, honor, and transparency? I would hope that you answer the latter. It takes a lot of moral courage to contain your feelings in a situation where you feel wronged, and you feel your community has been wronged. It takes even more moral courage to have integrity and transparency if you are the one that has wronged the community.
As I write this I realize I write it as one side is right and one side is wrong, but then again maybe it is all a gray area. One which I have no ability to discern which is the best avenue to follow.
What I can tell you is that life will bring jarring situations to your door. As a wanderer you have been practicing self care and introspection. Since you know that those are the two things you most have control over, choose to look inward first, before reaction in a knee-jerk manner to an exterior situation.
In all things envelope your community in love and hope. And do your best to ignore knee-jerk reactions, only you can determine if you behave like a jerk or not. I pray you all find peace and solace in being you as you wander.
Signing Off Marion, IA.