Today’s plan was to climb Han’s Peak. I thought: ‘this will be great, we drive almost all the way to the top and then climb on the shale to reach the tower at the peak.’ Apparently that is not how Adults climb Hans Peak. We started a little ways up the mountain and then started climbing.

I am frustrated because I am trying to be more active and my bum shoulder really has an issue with it. I can’t hike or run without my shoulder starting to hurt. It takes dedication to hold a proper posture while being active and that’s what I have to do to stop my shoulder from hurting, but then it still hurts anyway. It often feels like a double edged sword. When I suddenly go from a 3/10 to a 6/10 and I am trying to stay engaged and enjoy the activity, well needless to say I want to cry. I took some nice anxiety meds in order to calm that factor down, so I could focus on breathing through the pain.

I don’t know if my dad realized I was struggling, or if he needed to stop for regular breaks, but he was really patient with me. I appreciated it. I feel like I just shouldn’t do things because I don’t want to slow the other people down. I wouldn’t have held it against him to rush on ahead and let me catch up at my won pace. Honestly if he had done that I probably would have just sat down somewhere and cried, because self-pity likes to climb in the hurt basket when my shoulder hurts. I don’t know if in the past he would have stopped, but it never felt like it. Now he is stopping. I wonder how much of what I am perceiving now was true before, but I didn’t see it that way.

I feel like my perceptions are changing to be more open to the fact that people are here for me. That I have a TRibe, a village, and family to lean on. I am not alone, and more and more so each day I feel that. It is especially nice to feel that from my Dad, when we so often have been at odds.

My dad, baby bro, and I were having a good old time. I was trying to get baby bro to teach me what is edible and what isn’t so that I could survive off the land for a day, without starving. His suggestion was for me to read a couple of books and take the time to ensure I was smart about what I was doing. Otherwise I guess I could end up sick or dead… yeah. As we climbed baby bro talked about the forest around us. He is so wise about plants, bugs, and wildlife.

We reached an old cabin that used to belong to the foreman who created Steam Boat Lake. I never knew that the lake was man-made. Not far behind the cabin was a small well that still had a natural spring flow in to it. Sitting right next to it was snow. I had just remarked that I wanted to add playing in the snow in summer to my bucket list. Accomplished! We even had a snowball fight! It was another one of those extremely silly moments, which was spontaneous and kind of ridiculous, but suddenly we weren’t adulting anymore. We were just living and there was no definition between the kid parts and the adult parts of us.

At the top we were standing amongst the clouds as they flowed past us. It had gotten quite chilly at 10,000 feet. It was a beautiful view. Going down went a little bit better, but my dad kept tripping over roots (we swear, the roots moved!). He definitely made my heart skip a beat when he tripped and came flying down the mountain towards me, sliding across the ground. Here I was, having a good time, and he goes and tries to crack his head open. Luckily he brushed it off and was fine to keep on going. I begged him to pick his feet up higher, but he still tripped occasionally and I so I was on stand by to catch him.

After we were done we went to the Columbine store for “Ice Cream” (I got a carrot flavored popsicle… eww ice cream), which was just like what we do when we were kids with the whole family.

My legs were jello, but it was an awesome day! I think I will sleep well tonight. My mom took off back home with my Papa, Eric went back to work, and my Uncle, Dad, and I will leave out tomorrow.

I know where my next stop is… but SPOILERS!

Signing Off Clark, CO